I. Introduction
a) As we wrap-up Gary Thomas’ “Sacred Parenting” we‘ve looked at joys, pains, necessities, vulnerabilities, and the demands of parenting.
o Thomas has made it clear that parenting is a glimpse into heaven, but does not come without a cost
§ As usual, nothing worth having comes for free or without personal sacrifice
§ Bonhoeffer: “We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God.”
§ Of course, parenting gives us an idea of the ultimate sacrifice made by Christ
b) Gary says that he speaks to young couples he talks to them about the periods of liberation
§ First – liberation from the 10 lb diaper bag
§ Second – liberation when the kids can take a shower or bath on their own
§ Third – leaving the kids at home without a baby sitter (can’t imagine ever doing that with Elliott – might not come back to a free-standing house)
§ Finally – when kids can drive themselves to school, etc.
§ As Thomas states, becoming empty-nesters makes you almost want to go back through it all over again
· “it hurts to watch your children slowly leave you behind.” – Thomas
· However, each season provides benefits and spiritual blessings that we may be unaware of
II. Parenting: God’s Hammer on Our Souls
a) Gary equates God’s work on us to the blacksmith who shapes the horseshoe – he heats it up, hammers it, bends it, and molds it into the shape he desires. Same is true of God – only it’s our souls that are being molded
· “For you, o God, tested us; you refined us like silver…We went through the fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.” (Ps 66:10-12)
· We’re not as mature as God wants us to be
· Letting us become parents is one of the ways He sanctifies us
III. Parenting: God-centered
a) To be successful in parenting, we have to see our job as a sacred enterprise
· Changing dirty diapers, teaching a toddler to be less selfish, explaining the tenants of our faith to preadolescents, and helping a teenager grow into a productive member of God’s kingdom are just as worthy acts as the act of worship
· God wants us to maintain families that teach our sons & daughters:
· Live in awe of Him
· Revere His Word
· Walk with God in fellowship
· Live peacefully with others
· Turn others from their sin
IV. Parenting: Hardest Hurt of All
a) One of the greatest spiritual challenges we will ever endure is watching a child fail or get injured
b) Gary tells a story about his 14 year-old son’s championship basketball game; they were up against a team they had already lost to a few times before
· Their best player, Mark, was being held out of the game by his parents for getting into trouble
· He interrupts the story to mention Acts 11:24 – “[Barnabas] was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith.”
· Scripture does not describe anything else about him – was he a shepherd, was he good-looking, was he affluent, was he athletic? We simply don’t know
· In the Biblical author’s eyes, in this case Luke, the fact that he had faith, was a man of character and integrity, was all that mattered.
· Thomas mentions how much he admired the two parents of Mark, the team’s best player, for holding their son out and teaching him integrity
· By the way, Thomas’ son’s team ended up winning the championship!
V. Parenting: Embracing our Insignificance
a) Having children is a humble acceptance of our own limitations
· We only have a certain numbers of days on this earth - then we die
· Thomas: “When we give up some of our time, we create decades for others to live their lives and use their time for the glory of God.”
· When you take time to conceive, nurture, raise, and teach a child – according to Thomas, you’re setting into motion seven or eight decades of human life
· Honestly embracing our historical insignificance will free us up to focus on relationships and eternal significance
VI. Parenting: The Gold Behind the Guilt
a) Roger Bannister was the first runner to break the four-minute mile
· Reflecting back on how he made it happen, he said that he ran 25 miles a week for ten years in order to achieve his goal
· How many marriages in U.S. end in the first 10 years? – 33%
· How often to people change jobs in 10 years? – 3 times
· We give up on things easily; that shouldn’t be an option with rearing children – often times children are given up on as much as marriages and jobs
b) Because parenting is so difficult, we are going to fail in certain aspects – for every Roger Bannister who succeeds, there will be thousands who will fall short
· It takes tremendous courage to undergo a task that you know will reveal your limitations, weak spots in your character, and occasional lapses of wisdom
· John Calvin: “The patience of the saints differs widely from stupidity.”
· Kids may question their faith, if so we will likely blame ourselves for it – it is a lie to assume that even if you did everything right, you could have avoided this pain.
· Like Mary (Luke 2:35), we parents ought to be prepared to be pierced.
· We should do what others refuse to do, what others fail to do – let us be married, stay involved with our kids, and in spite of our sin and weaknesses, build a family that honors God.
VII. Parenting: The Sweet Side of Sacrifice
a) Dick Hoyt - had a son who was born with cerebral palsy and was severely disabled; he asked Dick to push him in his wheelchair in a 5k race; they ended up running multiple races together - marathons, even an Ironman triathlon. When Dick wasn't feeling well and had a physical exam, the doctor said he had just had a heart attack; the Dr. indicated that given Dick's genetic make-up and family history, he should have died a decade before, but his son's wish to be pushed in races literally saved his life!!!
VIII. Parenting: Leaving – Trust and Hope
a) God doesn’t ask anything of us that He hasn’t already done!
· When He sent His Son, He knew Jesus would suffer and be ridiculed
· How can we hold back our own children in light of the Father’s sacrifice?
· Just as God released His Son on our behalf, sacred parenting calls us to release our children on His behalf, for the sake of His kingdom
b) We try to control our children’s destiny
· There will come a time we will not be there to help shape the problem or suggest a solution
· Think about the concern Jesus must have felt in learning His church was in the hands of a few cowering disciples???
· Gary Thomas: “If Jesus had been a fear-driven, control freak, He never would have gone to the Cross; the disciples never would have been ‘ready enough.’”
· But Jesus did let go; and when the time comes, so should we!
c) Beautiful Thing: God is master of the universe; oh, and by the way, He also watches over our children
· Key to the Book “Sacred Parenting:” The heart of sacred parenting is to learn to rest, trust, and have faith in God as we usher our children to a final refuge.
